The Dojo
by Whiskeyflips
Summary: Sarah and Chuck deal with some of the emotional turmoil left in the wake of his losing and regaining the Intersect. Season 4 Charah.
1. Love, Anger, Frustration, Fear

**The Dojo**

**Chapter 1  
Love, Anger, Frustration, Fear**

_Here's a story for anybody …_

_Who thought that Sarah let Chuck off way too easily in the aftermath of Chuck vs Phase Three._

_Who hated that bo fight scene in "Chuck vs The Three Words" and wished that it could have taken a … ah… different turn._

_Anyone who really loves those scenes in "Cougars" and "Cubic Zirconium" where Sarah's working out._

_Who sometimes got a little frustrated with the constantly changing attitudes that our favorite spy couple have towards the Intersect and spy life in general. Sometimes they seem to love it, sometimes they seem to hate it._

_Who wondered why after Chuck was perfectly okay with not being a spy in "Anniversary", he, after few months (by "First Fight/Fear Of Death/PhaseThree") is so back in love with the idea of being an Intersected spy that he's a) desperate to get the intersect back that he's b) insecure about proposing to Sarah without it. I came up with a theory._

_This takes place in between "Chuck Vs The Leftovers" and "Chuck vs The Balcony" of Season 4_

_Rated M for a fairly strong sex scene…. But even if I cut it, there's a long sexual discussion afterwards that would have kicked it above a T rating anyway._

* * *

Sarah Walker stormed through the corridor of Castle in a violent, angry mood. She was eager to get to the dojo, deploy the heavy bag and focus her hitherto unfocused wrath.

Tonight's mission had been a success. A violent bloody success. No friendly casualties- not even a scratch for Team Bartowski. Two young women, and an underage girl who had been kidnapped were now free. Of their tormentors, loosely affiliated with Alexi Volkoff, two were taken prisoner, and the other two had already met their most deserved fates. Chuck's Intersect, which had been restored after he had absorbed a program from his late father's laptop computer, seemed to be working admirably.

_Chuck. The Intersect_. Sarah snarled inwardly. One day soon Chuck Bartowski would propose to her, she had learned. One day sometime later, they'd be married, and would be starting their family together… assuming she didn't kill him herself first.

Casey's complementing Chuck's tactical awareness and combat skills, while factually accurate, was not helping her mood even in the slightest. While the boys finished up their paperwork, and tended to other chores around Castle, Sarah was determined to work out the majority of her anger and rage. She stomped through the empty dojo, past the racks of swords, sabers, katana, bo staffs, nunchaku and shuriken, and into the locker room, where she always kept a fresh kit of workout clothes.

Five minutes later, clad in her workout pants and athletic brassiere, her blond hair bound in a ponytail, she emerged from the locker room and flipped a switch upon the wall. Whereas most of the cabinets in this dojo housed weaponry, one of them contained an automatic arm that slid eight feet into the room, deploying a red heavy punching bag with the word EVERLAST emblazoned across the top of it. Before the bag had even stopped swaying from its deployment, Sarah had already donned a boxing glove on her left hand, and was using her mouth to secure the Velcro binding on her right glove.

She had just been getting used to the notion of Chuck without a useful Intersect- it had become the new normal – for her, anyway. The failed mission to Switzerland with Agent Rye and Chuck's capture by Aldebert DeSmet had – in the most terrifying way possible- taught everyone including Chuck that he was not fit for deployment in dangerous areas against 5 to 1 odds without the Intersect. Chuck was learning this … he was getting used to this. He was respecting the dangers of the spy life more. Then had come the weekend after Thanksgiving, and the discovery of the late Stephen Bartowski's computer that Ellie had been working on. The computer contained a program that either downloaded a fresh Intersect into Chuck, or had restored the old one. Nobody knew which, and Sarah didn't much care – but it meant that Chuck had a new injection of confidence … and that her always dynamic, frequently violent, and often abused cauldron of emotions was now again boiling at high flame. Inside her was a confusing brew of love, frustration, anger … and most of all fear.

Sarah was relatively new to love. She was finding that it usually brought out the best in her, but sometimes bought out the worst. She was by no means the master of it.

Anger was an emotion that was practically her partner, a comrade in deeds of violence.

Frustration was no friend of hers … but an often present creature in the room ever since the day she met Chuck Bartowski. And fear ….

Fear came riding on the coattails of love. It was practically the other side of the coin of love. She had _thought_ she had known what fear was – any agent who didn't have a death wish grasped fear. Any agent knew that their next mission could be their last … and Sarah had thought that when one could perform despite the fear of death or torture, they had effectively conquered fear.

Such was what the life of a spy was supposed to be, anyway. It was one of the many reasons why spies weren't supposed to fall in love. Things had been so much simpler back in the days when all she had to lose was her life. Now she had so much more in her life. So much more to lose. So much more to fear losing.

She stared at the bag with the EVERLAST logo, calculating that her first punch, a right jab, was going to hit the second E in the word.

She wasn't getting used to this. Losing Chuck had been a constant terrifying fear for her almost since the very beginning. Even in that first year she had cried at the notion of Chuck being forcibly separated from Ellie and Awesome. It had been the first time she'd cried in years. She'd watch Chuck get thrown off the roof by Mr. Colt… She'd felt the chill up her spine when Frank Mauser gloated (very unwisely) that he'd divulge Chuck's secret that he was the Intersect … She watched Chuck endure a Fulcrum Intersect test that had eradicated the brains of all test subjects before it… She'd watched his Nerd Herder erupt in a dazzling ball of fire outside Jason Wang's auto shop…She'd watched the warehouse into which Chuck had disappeared to rescue Daniel Shaw blow up, convincing her that it'd taken him with it … She'd gleefully nearly wrecked her career in blazing a trail across Thailand when DeSmet had captured him… She'd seen too many guns pointed at him to count… and tonight. Tonight she'd again been confronted with the idea of a world with No More Chuck.

It had been a little thing. Chuck really didn't think he'd done anything wrong. Indeed … he hadn't. That's what Casey was telling him back at the conference room. He'd done well … the Intersect was working as well as ever.

And he was pleased!... _Happy_! Sarah choked back offended rage. Her annoyingly heroic, selfishly selfless lover was oh-so-happy to be back in the game and off the bench.

_Sarah, The Intersect works perfectly now! Isn't it great?_

"_**Rrauuuuhhhh!"**_ She gave roaring grunt, letting fly with a right jab that would have broken the nose of a human opponent. Months of pent up love-fueled fear and resentment were finding their violent voice, and the heavy bag was now about to pay for the sins of people named Mueller, DeSmet, Rye, Beckman… and Bartowski.


	2. The Victim

**Chapter 2**

**The Victim**

_**The Previous Night**_

_ "Bro, it's really cool of you to help cook something up for Ellie" Devon said appreciatively._

_ They were at Ellie and Devon's apartment, and Chuck had just placed two half gallons of lemonade on the breakfast bar. Despite Ellie's protests that it was such considerations were unnecessary neither one felt quite right indulging in alcohol while Ellie was so spectacularly pregnant. Six months along and Ellie was showing pretty substantially. This was going to be one of her last long shifts, and it was just so happening on her birthday._

_ "Ah it's fine" Chuck enthused. "Even when we were little, Ellie and I would never let a birthday go to waste. We wouldn't always have a party with the cake and presents on the exact day, but we'd always cook each other's favorite on the exact birthday. It's great to include Sarah, too. She should be here any minute after she picks up the pie from the bakery." Chuck then began to set the table._

_ "Uhhhhhh-huhhhhhh" Devon began with a conspiratorial tone. "Yeah. Real cool of you to include Sarah on this little family tradition, too."_

_ Chuck grinned to himself, and actually had to fight back a chuckle. His brother-in-law had to be the most unsubtle excuse for a spy the world had ever seen. It was completely obvious from his tone what he getting at._

_ "Yes, it's cool to show Sarah this little family tradition; and yes, Sarah ought to start getting used to this family tradition; because yes, I am starting to check out the jewelry stores and see what sort of rings I can afford on a Buy More salary" Chuck said with a smile._

_ Devon immediately brightened. "That's awesome dude!"_

_ "BUT!" Chuck insisted, holding up a fork for emphasis. "No, I don't have the ring yet, and no you're not going to tell Ellie, and no, you're not going to tell Sarah."_

_ "Dude! Won't say a word!" Devon promised. _

_ "Not even Ellie." Chuck demanded._

_ "Right. Not even Ellie. Okay, I'll try." Devon said. _

_Chuck decided not to challenge him. Devon always radiated when he had a secret, and Ellie would probably be finding out about what he had just said within five minutes of him leaving, he figured._

_ Just then the door knocked. Devon opened up and said "Sarah!"_

_ "Hi Devon" Sarah said, holding up her prize, a pecan pie. "Did I beat Ellie in?" she asked, looking around._

_ "Yep, just us guys." Devon answered, as Sarah came in to collect her kiss from Chuck._

_ The table was set, and dinner was just about ready. Ellie, when she came, had her timing perfect. Her mood however was not._

_ Ellie lumbered into the room – practically waddling at being 6 ½ months pregnant. After she dropped her overcoat on the sofa, it was clear that she had been trying, unsuccessfully, to hid a crying spell. Her mascara was running, and her breathing was ragged. Still, Ellie made the attempt to not show weakness, and gave a wan smile. "I smell pecan pie."_

_ "Babe? … What's wrong?" Devon asked. All three could see that Ellie was upset. It was very unlike her, although Chuck sometimes wondered that he didn't see this more often. Ellie often put in shifts as the ER doctor at Westside Medical, and had no shortage of horror and trauma to color her day. Neither was Devon a stranger to tragedy. Both Devon and Ellie were very good at not bringing the often sadness of their jobs home with them. Clearly tonight, Ellie had seen something that she didn't care to see, and it was affecting her more than such a thing usually would._

_ "Oh… I'm okay." Ellie Woodcomb said though a fake grin. "Just … crazy pregnant lady stuff, I guess. I wish I could have some wine" she lamented glumly._

_ "Hey … c'mon. What's up?" Devon insisted. _

_ Ellie sighed. "Okay. I'll tell you, but then you promise that we're going to forget it, and have a wonderful dinner, and laugh at me as I stuff myself with the pecan pie."_

_ "Deal" Chuck agreed, speaking for all three. _

_ "Okay" Ellie began "Normally this is something I thought I was hardened to. At about 8, the cops and the paramedics brought in this girl who was barely conscious, and half naked. It turns out she survived a gang rape. She was held somewhere, and they had her locked up in a room, and there were at least three guys. She was sky high on some depressant or other- we had to run a blood screen before we could okay any morphine. She was in and out of consciousness while I was with her and she said something about there being three or four other girls. We called the police and we ran a rape kit, and when my shift was up she was sleeping. I'm not sure the cops got much in the way of where she came from or what house she was in. The officers who called in the ambulance kept saying she was incoherent and crying a lot."_

_ Devon Chuck and Sarah sat around in silent, helpless horror. What a horrible story to be a part of – especially for Ellie's birthday._

_ Ellie continued "Now the thing is I've worked an ER floor for a while now. I've had rape cases, I've seen prostitutes who've been beaten by tricks … this was really only a little bit worse … It's just that this was the first one I've seen so bad since …" Ellie pushed back from the table and gestured down to her bulging tummy. "This poor girl wasn't a day over 16 … and here I am I'm going to have a little girl of my own by February … it just really hit me hard for some reason. Harder now than usual" Despite Ellie's self-control, her eyes began to well up again. "Devon, honey … what kind of world are we bringing our little girl into?"_

_ The question coming from Ellie's voice practically ripped into Chuck's vitals – from several different directions. First of all, long before the powerful and protective Sarah Walker entered his life, his big sister Ellie had been his formidable tower of strength. Ellie had been his supporter, confidant, protector and life coach ever since he was 9 – far more of a mother to him than sister, and more of a mother that his mother had been. Ellie rarely cried, and when she did, hardly ever cried in front of Chuck. Despite the fact that he was nearly thirty, the sight of Ellie weak, helpless, and in tears made Chuck feel like a frightened, sheltered little boy who was watching his home burn down. Anything that staggered Ellie staggered Chuck. _

_ Secondly, although the last four years of being a spy had given Chuck a violent tutorial on how wicked and cruel some people in the world could be, Ellie's vocalization of the idea of his unborn niece being exposed to them chilled him as nothing about the spy world ever had. What kind of men ran this house? Who were they? How could they tolerate- much less profit from such mistreatment of women? Didn't they have mothers? Sisters? Girlfriends? Wives? Daughters? Nieces?_

_ Sarah grabbed Chuck's hand, and held it as she watched his Adams apple bob in his throat. As wonderful and supportive as her Chuck was, a distraught Ellie was something that was clearly hollowing him out. _

_ Sarah had just opened her mouth to give out a comforting word when Devon came up, with his indestructible cheeriness. "It's an awesome world, babe. An awesome world. It's got Disneyland, and it's got Sesame Street, It's got the X-Games, and it's gonna have ballet recitals and T-ball and field hockey and cheerleading, and all kinds of great stuff. She's gonna have an awesome mom and dad, two awesome uncles on my side, and an awesome Uncle Chuck and Aunt Sarah … who … have jobs that they'll never be able to tell her about. But they're still going to be cool."_

_ Ellie melted into Devon's embrace, and seemed almost magically healed by the pep talk. She smiled tiredly. "You're right. Just crazy pregnant lady stuff, like I said. I'm starved. What's for dinner?"_


	3. The Opponents

**Chapter 3**

**The Opponents**

The blood in Sarah's arms and torso was warming as her punches flew and landed on the heavy bag. The upper half bucked with every plopping smack as her gloved fist made contact_. Jab! Jab!… left hook, jab!_ A pause while the bag swung in response to the energy transfer … which Sarah allowed- the better for the inanimate bag to mimic an opponent's shuffling towards her. Sarah attacked once more with a barrage of four punches to the bag's midsection, fantasizing the salvo landing in the bread basket of one of those goons in Thailand.

_ "Run! It's the giant blonde she-male!"_ the nominal leader of the stick of mercs had shrieked as she emerged from that swamp a few weeks ago. Very shortly afterward, she unleashed her fury on the merc who had been too slow to run away from her.

She didn't know the name of that cretin- she had never cared. _Right cross! Left uppercut!_ She allowed him to crawl away from the swamp alive, disarmed, and nursing a blown out knee, a black eye, and a pair of stomped testicles. Fairly good shape, considering.

_Right jab, hard!_ As that landed, Sarah now hopped backwards, the better to bring her legs into play as the heavy bag bucked backwards in protest, and swung slowly back towards her. _**"Nnggggeeh!**_" she grunted as she snapped up her left foot to catch the bag again in the midsection.

The first one she cared about had been wearing a lab coat – an original-looking mad scientist. He called himself … she found out after the fact … "Doctor Mueller". The word 'doctor' in that case made her want to vomit. She knew doctors. Casey knew doctors. They were medics. They were scientists. They helped people. They patched up soldiers and agents when they were injured or wounded. Devon was a doctor. Ellie was a doctor. Doctors were good. They helped people.

But "_Doctor_" Mueller had had her Chuck secured and wired to a hideous contraption, some evil looking piece of tech that had Chuck shaking his head back in forth in pain. He had been undergoing torture in that chair! He had been made to suffer while he was helpless. Much after the fact she learned that it had been dissecting all of Chuck's memories, slowly devouring and erasing everything that made Chuck Chuck, his decency, his sense of humor, his kindness and compassion, his recently found sense of duty to his country via Casey and Beckman, his camaraderie with his co-workers, his love for Ellie. For Devon. For Morgan.

For her. She had burst in as it was in danger of draining away forever. Just in the bare moment in time to save Chuck from the unthinkable – an unthinkable fate put into action by this foul perversion of the word 'doctor'.

"_**Hha!"**_ Sarah unleashed a snap-kick to the bag's midsection, and before her foot could feel the canvas, she daydreamed Mueller's face atop the bag, the awful man doubling over in agony, his face registering horror and terror at the notion that the remote jungle outpost that was once safe, was now being overwhelmed by his helpless victim's lover.

Very wisely, Mueller had offered no resistance or offer to escape when Sarah entered. Likely, it was the only thing that saved his life. Sarah unleashed a fury of jabs to where she imagined the face to be. Each gloved blow landed on the word EVERLAST or just above.

Sarah allowed herself her first break when the fantasy of beating Dr. Mueller to a bloody, boneless pulp began to grow old. Giving herself one minute and thirty seconds to catch her breath, she dabbed her forehead with her towel. Perspiration was just beginning to glisten on her face. She still had to deliver some fantasy revenge to more personages.

Adelbert DeSmet. _Hard Jab! Left hook! Hop back, left head kick! Recover, guard_. Sarah could now picture The Belgian's face in the top quadrant and attacked it with a ferocious battery of punches. Unlike DeSmet, the bag came back to her once stuck, ready for more punishment. The Belgian was the amoral broker-of-fortune who sicced that freak of a doctor on Chuck. On _her_ Chuck! Sarah hopped to the left flank of the bag, and performed a savage roundhouse kick that, had the bag the incredible misfortune of being DeSmet, would have doubled him in half.

Recovering, Sarah Walker could now picture the overconfident face of the late CIA operative Jim Rye. Her grudge against him was personal. There was little doubt that he meant well, and that he served his nation to the best of his abilities, making decisions that he thought were right. Under some definitions he might qualify as a hero – bravely placing himself in harm's way to accomplish his duel mission of stealing DeSmet's intel, while finding the correct stimulus to reactivate the Intersect. To Sarah, however he was nothing more than a fool. A pompous, smug fool who had been overly confident in his own abilities and theories, disdainful of more sensible and cautious concepts.

And he had been a charmer, too. Seductive. Rye had told her Chuck exactly what he wanted to hear in order to get his cooperation with his unorthodox and dangerous stratagems. And then, once Rye had Chuck where he wanted him – he turned on him emotionally – questioning his abilities, his reliance on his partners – notably her- his very identity – actually manipulating and talking Chuck into taking overwhelming odds with his malfunctioning Intersect.

Nominal ally though he might have been, Sarah now attacked the mental image of Jim Rye over the heavy bag. The bag weathered the assault well, bucking and squeaking as Sarah unleashed yet another barrage at its top and midsection, then hopping back to savagely attack the bottom half of the bag, as if she were taking out his kneecaps. Jim Fry might have been dead, and that was a shame – he probably died daydreaming that Chuck was just one more fearful stimulus away from proving his theorems correct. Neither Sarah, Chuck or General Beckman would get the opportunity to give him the dressing down that he richly deserved, or express to him exactly what they thought of his harebrained schemes. Another pause, another break.

_Beckman_… Sarah pounded her gloves together once more at the fantasy of brutally beating down her commanding officer. It was Beckman who had been Rye's chief cheerleader, so desperate was she to get the Intersect up and running, that she entrusted Chuck – _her_ Chuck! -to the talents of a man who was so besotted with his own ego that he got himself killed, and nearly did the same for Chuck. Sarah was appalled, enraged, _infuriated_ that Beckman considered it to be some sort of deep revelation when she declared that Chuck was "an asset with or without the Intersect".

_ "No… fucking … shit…"_ Sarah hissed as she whaled on the upper half of the bag one more time. _Chuck's valuable to the team even without an Intersect, General? WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST GODDAMN CLUE?_ Was it when he took the initiative to take a gemology course during that mission to Gstaad, so that he'd know his subject matter better, and know his way around diamonds better than Rye would – without using the Intersect? Was it last year when he successfully mimicked Rafe Gruber's identity to fool the thugs who had hired him – without using the Intersect? Was it his successful clandestine rogue operation to find Orion – someone that the CIA hadn't been able to do – without needing the Intersect? Was it his quick thinking when he used fireworks to distract Chinese gangsters or using internet porn to destroy a computer activated bomb – without needing the Intersect – that made Beckman believe in Chuck's non-Intersect abilities? Which of these set General Beckman down that little road of discovery? Oh, how Sarah missed deputy director Graham. General Beckman seemed to have days where she couldn't lead cops to a donut shop.

Taking her fourth ninety second break, Sarah was now sweating profusely and panting. _Chuck_… Chuck Bartowski. Her Chuck. The man she loved more than anything in the world, the man who one day soon would be her husband. The man who made the idea of having babies seem less ludicrous, and more heartwarming and beautiful.

Her man who was always trying to find ways to contribute and to make himself useful – always for the most noble of reasons of course.

The man who hated having the original Intersect, but _loved_ having the Intersect 2.0, to the point where he was depressed and desperate when he lost it. Her man who sometimes felt as if he had to be a hardened spy just in order to stand next to her. Who gleefully charged into danger because… why? So he'd feel somehow worthy of her? Because he felt like something less than a man without it? Or not good enough to be the man in her life? How was he thinking this? Why? Sarah had no idea how her wonderful, brave, compassionate Chuck ever got the idea in his head that she was in love with him because of that horrible, bloated piece of information technology in his head. It had outright killed a roomful of Fulcrum agents that had unwisely decided to meddle with it. It'd made Chuck the target for assassinations and kidnappings. It'd been looked at by the US government as a conduit to turn him into some sort of remorseless, hyper-competent super-agent. It endangered his friends and family – which were so important to him. It had come perilously close to overloading his brain, and wracking his mind with pain when he tried to use it without the governor that his dad had crafted.

And this lover of hers had the unbelievable gall… the outright disrespect for her to have seriously believed that he wasn't good enough for her without it? That her love for him hinged on that artificial collection of information and skills? What more could she do for him? Chuck's density was enraging, and once more, once she caught her breath, she was going to unleash her rage on another person, with the heavy bag standing in to absorb the beating.

Dabbing her sweaty forehead with a towel, Sarah heard a shoe squeak at the dojo entrance. She whirled around to confront him who would dare interrupt her exercise/mediation time.

"I'm about to pack it in" Casey said from the doorway. "Good night tonight. Not every day you get to take down the kind of baddies that you'd take down for free."

"Yeah." Sarah agreed.

"Chuck did good too."

Sarah huffed at the hopeless position she was in in answering that statement. If she would contest that point, Casey would no doubt go into a litany of how Chuck's training and skill had come through, aided by the Intersect.

So all she could say was "Yeah" followed up a little lamely with "Didn't like the part where he took two guys with MAC-10s by himself."

"The guys with the MAC-10s _really_ didn't like it. Besides, I was there." Casey grunted. "Glad to have the Intersect back. G'night, Walker." And then he was gone.

The subtle acceptance and encouragement by Casey of the re-Intersected Chuck stoked her frustration all the more. The frustration was compounded by the knowledge that if she were to gripe about tonight's events, she'd find herself on the losing end of an argument based on logic, and she didn't want to be in a fight she'd know she'd lose.

Her frustration built on and upwards. Her Chuck was stubborn enough when he just _thought_ he was right – he'd be insufferable to argue with when he had facts on his side, and a recent success under his belt.

And yet she was angry with him. Angry because he made her feel afraid. He had improvised. Things had gotten wild and unpredictable. He had reacted in a way that ultimately had worked … but created a situation where she, Sarah Walker, for the 2nd time in 3 weeks had been momentarily terrified that her Chuck's bravery was about to get him killed.

To hell with logic. _Left kick!_ To hell with facts and the tactical situation. _Right jab! Left cross!_ Chuck had no right to make her feel so frightened so frequently. There was only so much that any heart could take, let alone one that had only recently allowed itself to love. _Right hook! Hop right. Recover. Guard._ It's not like she wanted to keep him handcuffed to their bed. She was in love with a hero. She grasped that. And heroes confronted danger. _Left kick!_ If tonight hadn't happened so soon after Thailand, she'd be taking it more in stride. She knew that. But it had. Chuck was in danger of letting her down by taking too many risks and missions that could one day get him killed. And if Chuck Bartowski imagined that facts and logic were going to save him from a royal chewing out from her, then Chuck Bartowski had another think coming.

In the guard position, and preparing to launch another series of jabs, Sarah's peripherals caught sight of the arrival of her lover/ tormentor. Chuck was in the doorway to the dojo, slightly leaning on the doorjamb. He had on his black pullover shirt, the kind he always wore under his tactical vest, and black jeans.

Fortunately for him, he didn't have a goofy grin or a silly look on his face, as if he were about to crack a joke. Rather, he had on a easygoing, intent look, as if he were a customer at the Buy More up above, patiently waiting for the sales woman to finish up with an earlier customer before being granted his turn for her attention.

Still agitated, in no mood for a conversation, and not caring how silly it might have made her look, she stuck out a boxing gloved hand in his direction in a command to stop. "Chuck. I am _not_ in the mood for you right now. Not even if you want to say you're sorry. Go home, and I'll be there to talk with you later tonight!"

To her surprise, Chuck didn't give immediate compliance. He set his face in a stony scowl, and strode into the dojo, taking a position on the outer rim of the practice mat, with his back to the wall that held four bo staffs in the weapons rack.

Sarah's eyes widened in rage at the invasion, and her own face set in a sweat drenched glare. It was unusual for Chuck to defy her like this when she was so obviously worked up, and yet here he was.

"No." Chuck said stubbornly. "Because if you're going to yell at me, I'd rather you did it here. Otherwise you'll wake up Morgan, and probably the entire apartment complex and half of Echo Park. Also… the longer you go under the illusion that I'm going to say 'I'm sorry' about anything that went down tonight, the madder you're going to be when you figure out I'm not going to."

Sarah's eyes narrowed, and she allowed her voice to drop into a growl from which Chuck could not fail to notice the threat. "Chuck I love you, so I'm going to give you one last chance to get out of this room without a major ass-kicking."

"No." Chuck said, steadfastly folding his arms.

"I mean it" Sarah snarled. "Chuck, I know you think that magic tongue of yours can get you out of any trouble, but trust me when I say you're not going to talk or fuck your way out of a beating. "

"Not if you seriously think you're getting an apology at the end of it." Chuck said. "And besides… you're the one who think's my tongue's magic. Not me."

"Fine!" Sarah roared, and assumed the guard position. "Gloves on!"

"Actually" Chuck said as he walked over to the switch that deactivated the heavy bag, "I have something else in mind." As the bag slid back into the cabinet that housed, it, Chuck circled around the outer rim of the dojo to the rack that held the bo staffs. He picked two from the rack. "Do you have a favorite one?"

Sarah had followed the heavy bag back to its compartment, and, taking off the bindings from her left glove, quickly stripped off her right one. The gloves then found their home the cabinet with the bag. She then whirled on Chuck with an out stretched hand, silently demanding her staff, and getting angrier while doing it.

If Sarah could have had her way, her soon-to-be fiancé would not only read her mood as well as he had been, but would quickly comply with her demands once he'd seen her worked up like this. Chuck wasn't, though – and not only was he defying her, he was being all sweet and considerate about it, asking if she had a favorite weapon. Nobody who was in the amount of fear that Chuck _should_ have been in would ask such a thing. Just one more example of Chuck not appreciating danger as well as he should have been.

Snatching the bo, Sarah instinctively assumed First Posture, the staff held with both hands evenly, right hand palm out, left hand palm in, and her feet shoulder with across. Then, before Chuck could even assume his own posture, she angrily let go her right hand, held the bo with her left and stomped the end of it down to the mat, holding the staff next to her. "This isn't strip kick class, Chuck, and I'm not Cinnamon. If I hit you with this, it's going to hurt."

Chuck's assumed First Posture, Flat Line. It was identical to the position Sarah had just abandoned, but with his left side facing Sarah. It was a position that looked deceptively vulnerable, with his side seemingly open to a quick thrusting lunge from Sarah – except that such a move could be easily dodged by Chuck with a step forwards or backwards – leaving Sarah exposed to a devastating counter strike to her head, chest, or midsection. It was a perfect position for a confident fighter expecting his opponent to attack recklessly – the _mano-a-mano_ equivalent of setting up an ambush.

His only verbal response to Sarah was to mildly taunt "… If."

No matter how angry Sarah was, all of her CIA martial arts training kicked in as she re-assumed First Position. She was infuriated enough to accept the notion of wounding Chuck's pride – and slightly wounding his body- but she still wasn't fool enough to accept Chuck's obvious bait. From over her bo, now held parallel she sneered "I won't hit your face. Or your junk. I'll need both of them working once I've calmed down."

"Well then it's good for both of us that my face is where I keep my tongue. And the only thing you'll need is a long massage once you've calmed down." Chuck answered. "Fortunately, it's another thing you've taught me to get good at."

Rather than going for a quick jab with the end of her staff, Sarah began with a conservative but strong swat, pulling back on her bo with her left hand, while using her right to guide it towards Chuck's shoulder blade. Rather than a simple duck-dodge, Chuck countered with a more complicated move, by twisting his staff and holding it vertical, while bringing it over to his left side. His block was high enough and strong enough that Sarah's staff was halted by the middle of Chuck's bo, while at the same time exposing Sarah's entire body to Chuck's right hand… which he gently thrust forward, the right end of his bo, lightly tapping Sarah's hip before she jumped back, her attack stymied.

Chuck hopped back, and as Sarah readied her bo for another strike, she saw him flash. It only took a second before her staff was ready, but that was all the time Chuck needed to flash on _bojutsu_. Now, post flash, his confident grin was almost insufferable, and stoked her rage anew.

Gripping her bo now in the Middle Posture – her close end under her arm and the far end pointed directly at Chuck's eyes, Sarah growled. "Remember that you asked for this."


	4. The Mission

**Chapter 4**

**The Mission**

_**That Morning**_

_ Other than a five alarm fire that spectacularly destroyed part of a strip mall, speculation on the identity of Ellie's mystery victim led the news. By the next morning most of the news outlets were talking of the victim, and some of the sleazier ones were sparing no expense in describing the horrors that the poor girl was likely exposed to. Local news was agog over the frightening and disturbing notion that there was a sexual slavery ring someplace in their neighborhood._

_ True, it was one of more upsetting news stories Chuck had heard of- and Ellie's connection to it made it sting more, but he was still pretty surprised when General Beckman mentioned it._

_ "Good morning team." Beckman addressed curtly from the screen in Castle. "I'll assume we've all been watching the local Los Angeles area news?"_

_ Chuck, Casey and Sarah were seated at their usual positions at the conference table. Chuck was clad in his typical cover attire, his Nerd Herd togs. Casey was in his green Buy More shirt, and Sarah had on a violet, frilly top and slacks. _

_ "You mean the strip mall that burned down?" Chuck asked, bewildered slightly. Chuck didn't really imagine that either a burning strip mall or an assaulted woman would seriously catch the attention of General Beckman, cozy in her office in DC._

_ "No, Agent Bartowski." Beckman glowered. "As you of all people know, last night a girl was picked up by the Beverly Hills Police, and taken to West Side Medical Center. Her name is Katherine Hays, she was a victim of a sexual assault, and the Special Victims Unit of the LA County Sherriff's office believes that she escaped from a ring of human traffickers. Due to the condition in which she was found, she has not yet been able to give them a correct address to the place."_

_ A rumbling growl from Casey revealed where his mind was at. To be sure Chuck shared the contempt, but intellectually, he still wasn't sure why Beckman was so interested in such a story._

_ Beckman continued "While the police go about their investigation, the NSA believes that they we may have a few large pieces of the puzzle" Beckman tapped a few keys on her computer. "Meet Viktor Egoyan" The picture flew up onto the screen, of a powerfully built looking man with shaved head and scar down his cheek. _

_ Chuck winced in anticipation for flashing on the name or face, but none came. Whoever Viktor Egoyan was, he wasn't in the Intersect 2.0 … or whatever that update or charge was that he found in his dad's computer._

_ "Egoyan" Beckman continued "is fundamentally an arms trafficker who specializes in sending small arms weaponry to points south. He's a favorite supplier of guns for the northwestern quadrant of Mexico, and a few Caribbean nations. Arms smuggling being the competitive field that it is, we believe that in recent years he's been trying his hand at human trafficking as well."_

_ "Odd side business for an arms dealer to get into" Sarah observed with what sounded like cold blooded detachment. While an outside observer might have mistaken her demeanor for nonchalance or disinterest, both Chuck and Casey recognized Sarah mentally going into spy mode, as was her custom when being introduced to a high stakes mission. _

_ "Like many criminals, Agent Walker, Egoyan is a creature of opportunity." Beckman explained. "The Greater Lost Angeles Gun Show draws quite the international crowd, and for some of these characters the demand for … entertainment … can be quite high. We believe that Egoyan made his way into this business as a way to market his arms dealing. Which brings us to last night. Miss Hays was found by police at this location …"_

_ At this, a map of Beverly Hills popped up onto several of the screens at Castle. A red dot, located at the intersection of two major roads identified the location Beckman referenced._

_ "… Mr. Egoyan's house is located here." About five blocks away, a green dot glowed. "The NSA believes that this is the house that Miss Hays escaped from, and it's where more victims, plus a loose associate with Alexi Volkoff, plus various computers filled with information on Volkoff's small-arms trafficking network are currently located."_

_ "How loose an associate of Volkoff's, General?" Chuck wanted to know._

_ "An independent middleman" Beckman explained. "Volkoff Industries can't be bothered with figuring out the minutiae of their multiple clients in North and South America, so they're content to sell to people like Egoyan as a go between. In the strictest sense, he's nothing more than one of Volkoff's customers for the small arms division of their company. Involvement with something as unsavory as human trafficking is not in Alexi Volkoff's history. Team, your mission is to gain entry into the Egoyan's house, rescue any remaining girls held against their will, and retrieve any and all electronic devices."_

_ Casey asked what was first and foremost on his mind. "What's the color of the operation, General?"_

_ Beckman stared very deliberately into her computer camera, and spoke slowly and evenly. "It is not a red op per se, Colonel… the first priority is the rescue of any victims. The closely following second priority is the acquisition of any useful intelligence from Egoyan's computers, phones and tablets. The capture of any of Egoyan's associates is a third priority. I, of course want all of you to come home safe. But you'll be illegally entering someone's private home. If their first response at the sight of a heavily armed and masked team is to surrender peacefully and to drop their weapons, then by all means take them alive." _

_ Sarah's derisive through-the-nose snort was barely perceptible, although Chuck caught it. Nobody could miss Casey's amused chuckle, or his comment "Yeah, and we'll take them back here and put them to work cleaning out the stables where we keep the unicorns." _

_Beckman either didn't hear or didn't care to call Casey out. "You strike tonight, at whatever time you see fit. Good Luck, team."_

_For his part, Chuck felt a slight shudder, but said nothing. It was always a little uncomfortable going into a situation when it seemed likely that the other side was going to have fatalities, but Beckman did technically forbid any cold-blooded murder shenanigans. These were bad men who needed to be taken down and Chuck really couldn't pretend that the incidental deaths of human traffickers would weigh heavily on his conscience … even though it might way a little heavier on his own then on Sarah or Casey's._

"_In case someone wants to come quietly" Chuck offered. "I'll have my tranq darts ready. I'll use the 10 microliter __Succinylcholine dart, so they'll stay down."_

"_Chuck, are you ready for this?" Sarah asked with some concern._

_Casey answered for him. "Oh yeah. He's been sparring with me. Nerd here would never have survived it if he didn't have the Intersect working for him. Speaking of which, let's try some shooting drills at the range. One thing you gotta assume about these people, Bartowski . They REALLY don't want to go to prison. Even among scumbags these people are scumbags. They ain't gonna want to go quietly."_


	5. Staff Meeting

**Chapter 5**

**Staff Meeting**

True to her word, Sarah's attacks stayed away from Chuck's head, while Chuck used the Intersect to parry her blows all while making it look easy. Occasionally, he'd improvise - as he did when Sarah ducked down to launch an attack that would have swept his legs from under him. Chuck gleefully jumped about two and a half feet, and Sarah's powerful attack met nothing but air, turning her around and exposing her back and rear end to Chuck, and netting a soft tap on her spine for her trouble.

Chuck was playing with her, she knew that and didn't like it. Armed with the Intersect, Chuck could practically teach a course in _bojutsu_, and if had really wanted to, he could have easily dominated her and finished the fight, lying her flat on her back. But Chuck was allowing her to work out her anger, and the knowledge that he was being considerate like this made her all the angrier. She raged at the fact that Chuck was teasing her, as every calm response and measured counterstroke and thrust served to illustrate that he was in control of this sparring session. Like a predator playing with a wounded-yet-still-strong prey, the fight would last for as long as he wanted it to, and no longer. She had no say in it, unless she wanted to quit and give up. No control in whether or not she won. No power against him in this at all.

Powerless. Outmatched. At someone else's mercy. No spy was _ever_ supposed to feel this way. Every fiber of her existence was all about taking control, and maintaining that control once it was gained. She was an excellent spy- one of the very best. She acquired information, while divulging none. She seduced and pulled down people's guards, while never letting her own guard down. She dominated people around her, nobody dominated her. She took from her opponents, while giving them nothing. That's the way it had been since even before she joined the CIA. Her father had taught her well in that. To lie to avoid being lied to. To learn all the cons, so she herself could never be conned. To take the power to avoid being powerless.

And then she'd fallen in love. Deeply, irretrievably, hopelessly in love with a man who never really sought or demanded power over her, but ended up with it anyway. All of it. An easygoing charmer who had out-seduced an expert seductress. A man who had reduced her to pathetic helplessness so many times in so many places… at the helipad downtown as Longshore was ready to extract him forever… at that rooftop that Mr. Colt dropped him off at ….at Jason Wang's dealership when she saw Nerd Herder Three explode … the warehouse downtown that he had run in to retrieve Daniel Shaw right before a B-2 Spirit attack … Marko's warehouse at Volkoff Industries in Moscow … Thailand … Beverly Hills tonight. All were times when a small, protective part of herself … a Pre-Chuck Agent Walker … chided her slightly for ever falling in love ... to allow someone else to control her happiness. To give such power over to anyone. Even someone who respected that power sometimes fell short of wielding it properly.

One more fruitless attack that Chuck managed to parry. Glaring over her bo as she held it in First Position, Sarah demanded "Chuck, why are you even here? For someone who wants to marry me you have a lot to learn about me being pissed!"

"Yeah, but you haven't told me why." Chuck retorted. "And you seem to think that I'm going to say I'm sorry somewhere down the line. Now I'll say I'm sorry when I've done something wrong. But Sarah, I'm not going to pretend I did something wrong when I didn't. And if you're mad at me, then I have a right to know why. I love you, Sarah, but I'm not going to pretend that you're right just to get out of a fight."

Sarah's brows furrowed. "Love me? You _love_ me?" she spat out "You love me, but it's like you actually enjoy seeing me hurt. You don't think anything of scaring me to death."

Chuck was now indignant. "Well I'm sorry, Sarah, I was ever so slightly busy _saving your life_ to worry about whether or not my methods were scaring you or not. I actually prefer you _scared_ to death than _killed_ to death."

"Ha!" Sarah snarled. "Like you _ever_ worry about me being scared in _any_ circumstance!" Fearlessly, she launched a series of attacks, all of which Chuck blocked with his own staff. But Sarah was undeterred- as soon as one attack failed she launched another- a flurry of twists and pulls with the bo that kept Chuck's guard up. Chuck may have had the Intersect to inform him of these skills, but Sarah's experience in the art of _bojutsu_ was now kicking in, and was enough to make things interesting.

Now slightly incensed Chuck counterattacked on his bo, driving Sarah back across the mat, and taking what the Intersect told him was the Eight Apparitions Posture. Chuck held the bo vertically at his side, so that it almost looked as if he were holding a flagpole. The Intersect didn't tell him why this posture had such an oddly numerical name. He'd have much rather called it the Qui Gon Jinn.

Her retreat finished, Sarah counterattacked, and too late, saw the mischievous grin on Chuck that informed her she was striding into a trap. Chuck twisted his bo about, deflecting her swat, and then tightly brought his bo around her body. Then he grabbed it with both hands, and tugged. Caught off guard at this unorthodox maneuver, Sarah felt the bo horizontal against her backside, and as it pulled forward, she stumbled helplessly two steps into Chuck, her front pressed up against him. She felt Chuck's bo gently roll along the back of her shorts to the small of her back, exposed by her workout bra.

With an impudent grin, Chuck kissed the tip of Sarah's nose with an exaggerated, squeaky smack.

Sarah's first reaction was anger, but as she readied her arms to push back against her enraging boyfriend, her limbs began to signal their fatigue and disapproval of continuing a fight they were unlikely to win. Pressed up against Chuck, she breathed and huffed up at him, fury flashing from her eyes, and leaping the inch or so into Chuck's.

"I threw in that little move from Bugs Bunny. And maybe a little _Crocodile Dundee_" Chuck warbled.

"Improvising. And thinking it's always funny." Sarah's voice came in a hiss that dripped contempt. "How like you."

"I didn't do anything wrong." Chuck said with stubborn confidence.

"You went off mission. You and Casey cracked that door without telling me."

"Had to. And it saved your life. You're welcome."

"You scared me. Again."

"We saved you. Your flank was open. I'm not sorry about that. I'll never be sorry about that." Chucks stubbornness softened a little "But I'm sorry that it scared you."

"Are you?" Sarah challenged. Her self-control was starting to crack now, and fuming, hot emotion was starting to burn through her typical ice cold anger. "You're sorry you scared me? I think you _like_ scaring me. You didn't like it that I kept my emotions for you to myself all that time before we were really together. You don't like that I still do it a lot. You've always hated me for that. You still hate me when I do that. So now you punish me for it. _All … the fucking … time… Every… chance… you… get_" she spat through clenched teeth.

For the first time since entering the dojo a look of comprehending concern came over Chuck's face. "Sarah I don't hate you. Please don't ever say that again. Don't even think that. I've never spent a moment hating you since I've met you." Chuck now dropped his bo behind her, and it thwacked down to the mat. He wrapped his arms around her sweating back. "I love you, Sarah Walker. I love you very much. Don't ever think that I don't." To punctuate his point he softly brought his hand up to gently caress her cheek, and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

Dropping her own bo, Sarah brought her perspiring arms around his neck. With a defiant, still angry light shining in her azure eyes, she kissed him back, aggressive and hard. She thrust her tongue through Chuck's closed lips, and past his teeth, sweeping to the right of his mouth.

Chuck's eyes popped in surprise to the attack, as Sarah swept his mouth twice more. Breaking the kiss with a final nip on Chuck's lower lip, she stood on tip toes, as without her high heels on, Chuck was now substantially taller than her. Running her sweating hands through Chuck's slightly sweaty curls, she methodically placed a trail of kisses up his jaw before drawing his earlobe into her mouth and suckling strongly on it.

"Don't tell me" she commanded. "Show me."

Chuck was kissing Sarah's neck when her instruction struck him. "You mean …?"

"Right here. Right now" she said before kissing him once more. Squeezing his shoulders tightly, she ground her bare stomach into his groin, where sure enough …

"Don't even try to tell me you can't."


	6. The House

**Chapter 6**

**The House**

_**Earlier that Night**_

"_Showtime" Casey said._

_Garbed all in black, including ski masks, Chuck Sarah and Casey exited the van, which was parked on a side street in West Holywood, the better to dodge the patrols of the gated communities in Beverly Hills. Keeping to the shadows and making use of the natural cover, they soon came upon the Egoyan house._

"_Okay, nerd. You're up." Casey cajoled. _

_Sarah couldn't help but smile as Chuck eagerly accepted the binoculars and examined the motion sensors on the corners of the building. Within two seconds he flashed._

"_Ah… okay… They have a Limekiln 218 motion sensor by the front doors, but no security on the buildings north flank."_

"_That's our move then." Sarah said. _

_As the house was oriented to face west, the north end of the building was the narrow end. Entering Egoyan's property, the three huddled along the north face of the wall, and crept to the east, approaching the house's back yard. Casey was just about to peer around the corner of the building when Chuck clutched his shoulder. "Wait!" he hissed. "Use this." _

_Chuck proudly unzipped a pocket in his tactical vest and drew a small telescoping stainless steel rod, much like an old car's antenna… only this had a mirror on the end of it. The mirror being perhaps twice the size of a quarter, it looked like a larger version dentist's mirror._

_Casey grunted, impressed, and looked at Chuck with an inquisitive glare. "Ellie went shopping for accessories to our dad's car last weekend. I tagged along." Chuck explained "It's for mechanics, but I figured it'd be handy. I mean it worked on __Saving Private Ryan__."_

"_Not bad, Bartowski." Casey whispered, accepting the mirror, and checking around the corner. Chuck silently smiled, quite content with himself, and became even more so when he felt an affectionate squeeze from Sarah on his own arm. Even in the dark and from behind her ski mask, Sarah's lovely blue eyes beamed with pride. Chuck couldn't remember the last time he'd been more happy to be included on missions._

"_Okay. I see one guy on the back porch." Casey said, looking into his mirror. "He's trying to look casual, but he's a pro." he continued. "You're up, Chuck."_

_Chuck already had his compressed air powered tranq gun out. Accepting the mirror from Casey to get a fix on his target, Chuck regarded his quarry for five seconds, and handed the mirror back to Casey. Then he flashed on the Intersect's targeting program, stepped from around the corner, and placed a perfectly aimed tranq dart into the guard's neck. The guard went down quietly._

"_Intersect's batting 2 for 2 tonight!" Chuck chirped quietly, as the three of them moved the unconscious thug's body to the shadows._

"_Alright – don't get cocky." Casey warned. "Access?"_

"_Basement windows. Northeast Corner." Chuck said. Sarah's go-bag contained the laser, which was handy for cutting walls. Sarah found the appropriate window, and got to work cutting the plastic sash around the glass window._

"_Chuck?" Sarah whispered sweetly. "Water me?" _

_Obediently Chuck got Sarah's water bottle from the go bag to service his parched girlfriend. Working the laser was a dehydrating business, and Sarah's mouth eagerly accepted the water bottle. Showing off, in mid-zap she signaled that she'd had enough fluid by tightening her lips on the bottle's sipping cap, and shoving it shut with her tongue. _

"_Hmm!" Chuck said, impressed. Sarah paused from defeating the window to turn her head and wink at him._

_As Sarah's laser gun was about to complete it's rectangle, Chuck got a suction cup ready, and attached it to the window pane. By the time Sarah had completely severed the pane from the sash, Chuck effortlessly lifted the intact window pane. A second cup he attached it to the inwards side of the window. _

"_That's our way out" Casey instructed. "You take point Walker"_

_ Wordlessly, Sarah drew her suppressed Smith &amp; Wesson 5906 and slipped feet first into the darkness. The others swiftly followed. The basement was deserted of anyone, and had access to the ground floor. The three soon found themselves along a hallway with what sounded like a living room at the end of it. Someone was awake, as the sounds of the television were audible even from here. _

_ As the three slid down the curving hall way, Sarah and her suppressed weapon in the lead, she suddenly held up her hand in a "halt" gesture and crouched downward. Turning backward towards her team she pointed to her two eyes, then held out one finger._

_ Chuck held up his tranq pistol in appeal. With a soft smile, Sarah holstered her suppressed weapon in the special holster that she wore along the outside of her thigh, and from her left side, cross drew her own tranq pistol. Chuck grinned, and craned his neck to see down the curved hallway. Whoever had Sarah's attention, Chuck couldn't see him yet._

_ Sarah drew a bead on her luckless quarry and rose to prepare to fire. Before she could she stiffened, then took one step forward. Then another and another. Chuck and Casey couldn't see what was happening, but quickly guessed that Sarah's target had begun to move down the hallway. Keeping about ten feet behind, Chuck and Casey followed up._

_ After a few feet down the corridor, Chuck passed by what looked like a digital thermostat on the wall. He didn't pay it any mind until a display on it blinked once. Chuck turned his head to look at it – and suddenly flashed. _

_ Casey recognized Chuck's reaction, and his widened his eyes demanding an explanation._

_ "That's a Nixie-78 access panel, Casey- not a thermostat. There's a door around here somewhere." Chuck said, keeping his voice so low that only Casey- not Sarah or anyone else could hear. _

_ Knowing now what to look for, Chuck pointed another five feet down the hall, where the wall was of a slightly different color – the hidden door – a door that Sarah hadn't noticed, and had only now just passed while stalking her guard. _

_ "Sarah!" Chuck whispered as loud as he dared, hoping that by some miracle, Sarah'd be able to hear him, but her guard wouldn't. Neither did- and Sarah was now opening the distance between her and her men, now fifteen feet, now twenty._

_ Chuck, tranq pistol in hand, turned to intently stare at the computerized access panel and willed himself to flash upon the most likely opening command. It worked, and Chuck's left hand began tapping the controls to open up the door. _

_ Casey readied his SigSaur to cover whatever came out of the door once Chuck opened it. The control panel chirped in acknowledgement, and the hidden door rattled open._

_ Only then did Sarah hear anything going on behind her. She didn't even cast a glance behind her, lest she give her own target her back. The noise of the door opening up was also enough to alert the guard she was following, and he whirled around to take a step towards the secret door. He only made one step down the corridor, and towards Sarah before Sarah had two tranq darts placed in his body. The guard dropped quickly._

_ By that time all hell was breaking loose behind her._


	7. The Lovers

**Chapter 7**

**The Lovers**

Chuck Bartowski was typically a gentle and patient lover who could it seemed, spend an eternity on foreplay. Sarah Walker was grateful that on occasion, he could be …"talked"… into sex on the fly. Foreplay here consisted only of her undoing Chuck's pants, and yanking them- simultaneously with his boxers - down to about his mid thighs, kicking off her shoes, and then swiftly dropping her shorts and panties before hoisting herself up and upon her over-six foot tall lover. She hadn't even completely disengaged them- both were still dangling off of her left ankle, which was now placed near the back of Chuck's right knee.

Chuck had backed her into the nearest cabinet, and her sweating back rhythmically collided with the smooth paneling with every thrust Chuck delivered into her. _Don't back her up into the shurikens ! _was essentially his last contentious thought before he entered her and the sensations of Sarah Walker enveloping him began to flood his mind. He clenched his hands around her perfectly formed glutes, and tried to establish some sort of steady rhythm, the better to give the love of his life as much pleasure as possible.

But one of Chuck's thrusts was enough to send an already keyed up Sarah over the edge, and she let out a large boisterous groan, and threw her head back so that it bonked on the cabinet "Ohh! Chuck!" Chuck's attempts to establish a rhythm collapsed entirely as Sarah's orgasm caused her to buck and bounce upon him. Chuck gazed up at his Sarah, hoping to catch her eyes, which he did when she began to come down from her high. Her faced with etched in pleasure, and her mouth slacked open, as her magnificent blues pierced into him and began to relax.

Noticing that Chuck was not yet finished Sarah, panting softly, kissed his face and relaxed her arms from around his neck and back. Locking her very strong legs tightly around him, she leaned back slightly in Chuck's arms and peeled off her saturated sports bra, freeing her breasts. Then, naked except for the panties and shorts on her ankle, she began to help him find a rhythm.

Chuck tried to move as slowly as possible, but found his own personal timer running out. Sarah sped things along even further when she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled her naked body in close contact with him. Even through Chuck's still-in-place shirt, she could feel his heart pounding against her chest. Her mouth sought out Chuck's favored, most sensitive spots on his neck, the places where, once kissed, would always cause him to lose all control and helplessly writhe beneath her, … or above her, … or in this case, against her.

Chuck felt her sizzling wet lips kiss his neck on his carotid artery behind his ear, supplemented with a soft wet swipe from the tip of her tongue. Then she assumed absolute control over him by panting a warm wet breath directly into his ear and intentionally moaning three times, as she absorbed three consecutive thrusts from his lower half. Still with her mouth against his ear, she gave a gasping command "Chuck… finish. … Finish in me. … Finish"

_ "Oh, God, Sarah"_ Chuck moaned as he crested. His arms tried hard to clutch her tightly to him, just as she knew they would. Experience had taught her that her Chuck enjoyed having their bodies squashed together as he hit his zenith. But Sarah resisted that now. Keeping only one arm around her Chuck's neck she pushed back on his chest with the other, allowing her to lean back a little and look at his face as he toppled over the edge.

_Oh, I love this. Love it._ She loved watching Chuck's self-control collapse. In the two and a half painful years of teasing and torture before Paris she'd had nothing but chaste kindness, boyish sweetness, and gentlemanly respect from Chuck Bartowski. It was sweet and tender, and unlike so many men, it wasn't a façade or a ploy to get her into the bedroom – it was a piece of who he was that came with him to the bedroom, as surely as if it were one of his handsome body parts always there for her to enjoy. Even before Paris, she had always suspected that to be true. In Paris she'd learned delightfully and decisively that it was. In the months since, she'd gotten several-times-a-week … sometimes daily …reminders of it. It was wonderful …

… So wonderful that it was sometimes slightly annoying. Chuck reliably enjoyed pleasing her and prioritizing her pleasure, so much so that it was always a sweet, gentlemanly and restrained, thoughtful Chuck who undressed and caressed her. She yearned at times to see him lose control, and the best time for her to reliably see it was when he himself was approaching his peak. She had been thrilled when her climax hit, and immediately decided that instead of pursuing another one for herself, she wanted her wits about her as she studied her Chuck when he found his.

Delighted, she saw Chuck's face freeze in ecstasy as his movements became involuntary, and he pounded into her a few more times. She felt his heat inside her, localized at first in her overheated and saturated channel, but spreading inside her as Chuck's body emptied itself.

"Oh Sarah" he moaned. His helpless gasp was music to her ears. Of all the minutes and hours they devoted to sex and lovemaking, so many of those minutes she happily let Chuck take control, and devote his energies and imagination to pleasing her. But in precious minutes like these, control belonged to her. She gripped the helm. She drew the passion out of him, and conquered the grasp he had over himself. In these prized seconds she could see her Chuck as she doubted anyone ever had, as a sex crazed, lusting animal.

All men had the side to them, she knew. All men carried the remnant of whatever brutish, selfish – short-lived caveman was their direct ancestor way back a thousand generations ago in their brains. All men –even her Chuck- carried the rough, uncouth vestige that resided in all men and encouraged them to see their women as a conduit for sexual pleasure. Predating higher minded concepts like equality or human respect by millennia, the human sex drive had endured so well because it had worked so well.

It was a fascinating, sometimes chilling fact of human sexuality, the CIA seductress had learned long ago in the classroom. Some men were made of nothing but the crude and boorish attitudes towards women, as if nothing had changed since the Paleolithic times when cave men took what they wanted from cave women by strength. The criminal, misogynistic swine the team had conquered that night – and their clients - were like that. Other men conformed to the basic standards of decency for society just enough to keep them out of trouble, but gleefully got away with whatever ill behavior they could when they saw no consequence to it. Jeff Barns and Lester Patel, what little Sarah thought of them, were probably like that. Still others could keep up a gentlemanly façade because it had further seductive, charming value to them, but quickly showed just how less-than-important a woman's pleasure was to them once a bedroom door was sealed, and clothes began to come off. Bryce Larkin had been like that often, and the smug, seductive glint in Cole Barker's eyes had strongly suggested that he was too. Sarah had never been curious enough to investigate.

Then there was Chuck… and Sarah could only assume that Devon was similar when he was with Ellie. Perhaps Morgan would be the same way when things with Alex got to that point. So kind, so gentlemanly, so respectful, so concerned with a woman's feelings and pleasure 99.9999 percent of the time that only in the rarest and most intimate of occasions did their inner savage emerge. Sarah loved it, and took possessive ownership of the rights to view it. It was the .0001 percent of the time when Chuck no longer saw her as his formidable fighter, protective lover, intelligent problem solver, resourceful agent, compassionate listener and loving partner, but simply saw her in the way a wild ram in rut saw his favorite ewe.

These moments were Chuck at his rarest, and the moments were just for her. Nobody else saw the light shine in his eyes just before they squeezed shut in ecstasy. None but her heard the involuntary grunts and pants as his muscles went into a rhythm all their own. And only Sarah Walker felt Chuck's fingers tense and clench whatever part of her body they happened to be holding, sometimes her hips, sometimes her shoulders, in this case her behind.

Chuck backed Sarah completely into the cabinet behind her as his apex subsided. At some length his eyes opened again, and he was staring into his amazing lover's face. Sometimes, Chuck was rewarded with the sensation of Sarah being in the throes of passion while he was as well. Other times, such as now, Sarah was already recovering, and was already regarding him with a cool, confident grin. Her eyes were twinkling, and her smile verged on smugness, as if she had shopped for a perfect present for him, and had just finished watching him open and enjoy it.

"Woah" was all Chuck could say after a few moments.

"Shhhh" Sarah said, gently putting her fingers to his mouth.


	8. Functioning Intersect

**Chapter 8**

**Functioning Intersect**

_**Earlier that Night**_

_ Casey had set up a perfect position for breaching the opening door, or so he had thought. The problem was that there wasn't a stick of cover or concealment in the hallway, and Casey would be bare and exposed if anyone had been waiting by the opening door to ambush them. Casey imagined it a calculated risk as made ready his pistol and flashlight, ready to cover the door, and assuming on the element of surprise. _

_ But in fact he had no such advantage. A man was waiting just one the other side of the door as it opened vertically. Casey's only warning about the ambush came when he could see the man's pants, belt and then the bottom half of his shirt. Suddenly concerned by his exposure, Casey took a step to the side towards Sarah's position, and sought the relative safety of the wall just to the right of the door. At least now the thug would have to pivot to his side in order to engage him._

_ Chuck was already pressed up against the left of the door. When he saw Casey assume the breach position, and then quickly abandon it for cover, he knew that things were about to go bad. Looking through he door, he could see just how bad it was. _

_ The thug had a MAC-10 machine gun at the ready, and having seen a glimpse of Casey darting to his own left, turned the weapon in that direction. Then he took a step out of the hidden room that the door had revealed. He never saw Chuck._

_ Very quickly, Chuck flashed on tonfa- fighting, as he had when he was subdued in his father's cabin by Ring gunmen. It wasn't an ideal application, but Chuck was holding a tranq pistol in his right hand and a flashlight in his left, and didn't want to drop either. So he flashed on the first martial art that he could think of that didn't demand empty hands. _

_ Chuck attacked unconventionally, shining his 150 lumen flashlight directly in the eyes of the gunman. The gunman screamed and jerked his arms- and the gun that they held up towards his face to protect his eye. His finger squeezed the trigger on his weapon and fired a short burst into the wall of the hallway opposite the doorway. At the same time, Chuck brought the butt of his tranq pistol down upon the gunman's neck._

_ At the sound of the gunshots, a horrifying chorus of terrified female voices came from the depths of the hidden room. Chuck Casey and Sarah could all hear screams and pleas coming from the room that the gunman had just left. _

_ He wasn't down yet. He threw an elbow towards Chuck's face, which Chuck partially blocked with his flashlight-grasping fist. The gunman then very foolishly stepped further into the hallway to bring his weapon to bear on Chuck, momentarily forgetting about Casey. The penalty for this oversight proved steep. _

_ The gunman and Chuck had their weapons pointed at each other. Chuck could hear Sarah scream his name, then he fired first, sending two darts into the man. Casey fired second, losing three Sig Saur slugs into his chest. Sarah- her tranq gun now discarded, and with her suppressed 5906 – fired last, sending two shots into the man's side, and a third that detonated a goodly part of his head. The gunman never did get a chance to shoot again._

_ Sarah scrambled to get into position to cover Chuck and Casey, but Chuck – who really didn't have to move his position much during Casey's scuffle- peered into the room again. He could make out the shape of another man darting for cover, and of him readying his weapon. This man, it seemed would not come out to play, and would prefer to wait and attack from ambush. Casey and Sarah, on the other side of the doorway, didn't have the same vantage point, and couldn't see him._

_ Chuck could see that Casey was getting ready to take the dangerous step of entering the doorway, Sig Saur at the ready. He didn't know there was a second gunman waiting for him. Silently Chuck waved his hand to get him to stop. First he signaled that he saw someone by pointing to his eyes, and holding up a finger, and he went to the bleeding body of the first gunman and went through his pockets. _

_ Both Casey and Sarah were watching quizzically when Chuck's gloved hand returned with a handful of loose change. _

_ Resuming his post on the left side of the door, Chuck flashed on the Intersect's targeting manual, then flung two nickels into the far end of the concealed room, hoping that this second gunman was jittery, and would respond to the sound of the metal behind him or near him. _

_ Chuck heard his coins hit, and immediately heard the feet of the gunman shuffle about. Chuck then Casey capitalized on the distraction and snapped into the doorway. Sure enough, the gunman was looking the wrong way. Chuck's tranq gun fired first, Casey's almost on top of it. The result was a classic overkill, just like the first gunman. Chuck's darts found their mark and would have almost immediately put the gunman to sleep – but that was made moot when three slugs from Casey ripped into him._

_ Casey moved to find a light switch, and the rooms that held the shackled captives were quickly revealed. There was no further trouble. Cell phones were snatched from all four guards. Sarah's target, who turned out to be Egoyan himself was handcuffed, and left for the arriving police. _

_ Chuck wouldn't have changed a thing about the mission except for the pleas and sobs of the girls who once rescued begged not to be left alone. Chuck Casey and Sarah reassured that the police were two minutes away. Then the three were slipping away into the night with a go-bag filled with five cell phones, one tablet, and one laptop computer. _

_ If Chuck could change one more thing about the night, it would be the hostile frustrated look that Sarah was giving him in the van, all the ride home to Castle._


	9. Emergency Blanket

**Chapter 9**

**Emergency Blanket**

"Sooo …" Chuck began somewhat awkwardly. "I… guess you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Hmm. I'm not sure I'd go that far." Sarah said quietly, gently shoving her elbow behind her and into Chuck's chest, dissuading him from being overly affectionate in his caresses.

Chuck and Sarah lay on the floor of the dojo, quite naked, and Chuck's shirt- which had never come off during their recent romp- was now off of him and balled up to serve as a substandard pillow.

Fortunately the cabinet by which they'd collapsed together housed Castle's first aid/ medical kits. By raiding one, Chuck found a shiny aluminum coated emergency blanket, and before Sarah could give an opinion on it one way or another, opened it up and covered the two of them, making a mental note to replace it as soon as he could.

They were spooning … and that wasn't a great thing. Oh it felt great, no doubt. The scent of Sarah's hair and feel of the skin of her back along his chest … the curve of her hips and buttocks along his own hip .. the nape of her neck in convenient kissing range– before Paris, Chuck had daydreamed many a time of holding Sarah Walker just like this.

But Paris had been a year ago, and Chuck had learned through experience that Sarah Walker the Reality was a different creature than Sarah Walker the Fantasy. When all was right with the world, Sarah liked nothing better than to face Chuck, and hold herself close to his body. She'd rest her head on his chest, listening to his heart, and her free hand would play with the hairs on his chest, or reach up to control his head for another kiss, or unabashedly slide southwards to initiate more fun and games.

But now …. Sarah had straddled him for a few moments as they lay down and caught their breaths … resting directly atop him, as if he were a six foot three surfboard, and she was getting ready to paddle him past the breakers. Then, her breath caught, she dismounted him wordlessly as he got the emergency blanket from the medical kit, and turned away from him, offering him her admittedly lovely back, but signaling to him that she was still troubled.

It was her way of running away, but staying close, wanting to be comforted by him, and letting him talk to her, but unsure if she herself wanted to say anything. Clearly the time was now for some comforting pillow talk… or "crumpled up shirt" talk, if one would.

Affectionately, he drew his arm around her and stroked Sarah's stomach. "Sarah I've figured it out. You're not mad at me about tonight. You're mad at me about Gstaad. "

At the mention of the Swiss village that had almost been the scene of Chuck's foolish final mission, he could feel her body stiffen. Still Sarah kept her back to him. "No." was all she said.

Chuck sighed a little. As De Smet had taken him captive in that gondola over the Alps, the body of Jim Rye an unsightly mess on the rocks below, he'd never felt as terrified or as exposed or as guilty. He'd let everyone down. Sarah had been right. Rye, Beckman and he had been wrong. He had no business being there. He should have been far away, locked up and safe. Now he was captured and likely to die … and that would hurt Ellie, Devon Casey, Morgan and Sarah so badly.

He knew he deserved to be screamed at. He had earned the grandmother of all "I-told-you-sos". He had come so close to letting Sarah down. She should have been so mad… but for some reason for the last two weeks… she hadn't been. She had never berated him. She had never chastised him over his bad decision in going along with Rye. Instead she had behaved almost as Ellie had while they had been growing up when a point of hers had been clearly and obviously proven. Sarah had seemed to let it go. Perhaps she was simply so relieved that she forgot to be angry.

But clearly it wasn't so. She hadn't _forgotten_ to be angry … she'd simply decided to ignore her anger, or subjugate it or something. Now, after a mission that was only slightly scary, all that resentment was now coming back.

He tried again. "Sarah… you _should_ be mad at me over Gstaad. I did something wrong, and I almost got myself killed. I was stupid. And it's only because I have you in my life that I'm alive. "

Chuck wasn't sure what response he wanted, but the shudder that Sarah gave beneath his arm, was encouraging that he was on his way to the bottom of her anger.

Sarah rolled towards him, and sat up, casually gathering the emergency blanket to cover herself. Tears were rolling down her face, and she sniffed. Her face was a mask of torment. Her mouth opened as if to form words, but nothing came out right away. She tried once more to no avail. Chuck sat up himself to put his arm around her as Sarah used her hand to wipe tears from her face, and tried again. This time her voice obeyed her.

"Two days after you disappeared, Casey and I went to Europe looking for you. Or DeSmet. Or anyone who knew him. Anything to find you." Sarah stared off to a remote corner of the dojo, not looking Chuck in the eye. "We went to Belgium, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Lichtenstein and Austria all in three days. That's a lot of flying. And it didn't feel like we were getting anywhere. Between The Netherlands and Austria Casey and I shared a flight with a couple of nuns. Casey was napping. I couldn't sleep. I didn't sleep much the entire time. I think I started crying. One of the nuns noticed. She asked me what was wrong. I told her that someone I loved was missing, and that I was trying to find him… and that I was scared. Scared that I'd never see him again."

Engrossed by the story, Chuck placed his hand on Sarah's back and stroked her gently.

"She bought out a rosary. That's those bead strings things that kind of look like a necklace. And she taught me how to use it to pray. I didn't know that on different beads you're supposed to say different prayers. Now I've never really been all that religious. I'm still not. But I decided that it couldn't hurt. So I prayed with her. I had nothing else to do on that plane anyway. And then I …" Sarah's voice began to crack a little.

"I guess I… made a little deal with God. I wanted you back so badly that nothing else mattered. So I promised Him that if I could just find you … If I could just have you back safe and sound, I wouldn't spend the next month berating you or screaming at you for scaring me so badly. I wouldn't say I told you so, and I wouldn't get angry with you over it. I could just let it go as long as I had you back. So when I had you back in our apartment where you belonged, I decided to hold up my end of the deal. No complaining, no shouting, no telling you how stupid you were. And then I saw that man tonight with a machine pistol pointed right at you. I thought I was going to watch you die right in front of me. I know, it's a little silly. I know you've faced worse people then him before… done more dangerous things. Hell, I'm only alive to be with you because you went after Daniel Shaw to come rescue me. But tonight, just after Thanksgiving with Alexi Volkoff … and Thailand and Gstaad… it was just…" Sarah's hand went again to her face to wipe away a tear. "It was too soon. I wasn't ready to be afraid I was going to lose you all over again. I needed more time."

"I'm sorry, Sarah." Chuck admitted. "I didn't think about it like that. I was so busy patting myself on the back that the Intersect was up and working again, that I didn't think about any of that. I was just so glad to have it back."

If Chuck had thought a simple apology and realization was going to lighten Sarah's mood, he was sorely disappointed by Sarah's stare. Her eyes seemed to bore right though him. They didn't display any anger, just helpless sadness, as if she were looking at a boulder that was in the road, in her way, one she didn't know how to move.

"Chuck… why did you think I'd be so happy that you had the Intersect back? Tell me. Because I'd really like to know. When you were gloating about it tonight, you talked as if you just won the lottery. It didn't even occur to you – didn't even cross your mind that you just scared the shit out of me for the umpteenth time in two weeks. You thought I'd be just thrilled to death for you."

Now Chuck looked genuinely confused. "Aren't you? Sarah, right before Rye showed up, you were totally on board with me wanting to get the Intersect back. I was stuck being used as a lab rat by a bunch of scientists, Casey was going stir crazy babysitting me, and you were doing missions by yourself. Of course I wanted the Intersect back. It never occurred to me that you wouldn't want me to get it back."

"Yes, Chuck I wanted you to get it back … that was _before_ Rye showed up. Then I started changing my mind, once I saw the lengths to which you were going! It was insane. First he attacks you with ninjas, then he starts you on a pain and fear based program, and then he practically feeds you the Belgian. And you put up with all of it … why? What made you feel you weren't good enough without it? The day you got captured, you figured out exactly what the Belgian was selling, and you did it without using the Intersect. Don't you see that you're a good enough spy without it? Okay, fine – maybe you can't take on five to one odds without it – but Chuck… hardly anyone can! Nobody needs you to do that!"

"Sarah it didn't occur to me that I'd still be useful without the Intersect. The pressure was on from everyone, Beckman, Casey … Sarah, do you know how it felt to watch you lock and load to go on missions without me and know that my loss of the Intersect is the only thing that's keeping me from going with you? Going out there and doing great things together? Sarah, I'm really sorry that I scared you … but I really do like to feel useful. I've felt useful to you and Casey for almost four years now because of the Intersect, and I wanted it back" Chuck responded.

"And me? You said the pressure was on. Does that include from me?"

Chuck opened his mouth instinctively to deny it, but no sound came out, and Sarah felt her insides crumble a little when she saw Chuck's eyes dart to the left – a classic tell of someone who had something they didn't want to say.

Sarah huffed and slumped. She buried her face in her hands and shook her head. "You lied to me. I made you promise that you weren't putting yourself through this for me. And you were the whole time."

"No!" Chuck protested. "What I said was all true. I liked being useful on missions! I still like it. I'd gotten used to it. I was happy to not have to run away from a fight or stay in the car. I was happy to have you and even Casey … _Casey_! see me as an co-worker. I didn't lie."

"No, you didn't _lie_, you just denied that you were feeling any pressure from me. Chuck, that _was_ a lie! If you felt pressured by me you should have told me to back off!"

A sigh from Chuck as he slumped and put his arm around Sarah. Sarah stiffened and glared at him, tolerating the touch … but only tolerating it.

"Sarah you didn't put any pressure on me. It wasn't you. It was me."

Sarah's voice began cracking again, as her emotions again threatened to take front and center. "I found your proposal plan and Morgan explained it to me. I asked him when you planned on doing it, and he said that he didn't know… but that your plan got put on hold when you lost the Intersect. You didn't think that you could propose to me without it. Somehow I made you feel like you weren't good enough for me without it."

Sarah could feel Chuck's arm stiffen a little, and the body language told her that she was on the right track. A long drawn out sigh of defeat from Chuck confirmed it, and she knew a revelation was forthcoming. Gathering up the emergency blanket around her she turned to regard Chuck intently.

Chuck began "When they had me on that chair in Thailand… they began to mess with my memories. They gave me nightmares on purpose. Now don't laugh, because the way I'm probably going to describe it is going to make you want to say that 'it was just a bad dream' …. And yeah, that's what it was. But Sarah, people wake up from bad dreams, and _then_ they laugh at them. But you have to wake up first. They had me under some sort of sedative, and I couldn't wake up. At all. Even when I wanted to and I knew it was a dream, I still didn't wake up."

Sarah wiped her eyes, tearful at the memory of her Chuck being tormented and abused so.

"They spoke to me through people in my dream. Ellie…. Morgan… Awesome … Big Mike …Casey… Beckman…"

"Me." Sarah concluded.

Chuck winced. "Yeah. It was bad. It was a scene right out of a cheap porno – and they gave me the part to play of the useless boyfriend who couldn't get it up for his wonderful girlfriend. The only little twist was that you wanted me to flash … right in the middle of things. I couldn't … and you got mad and left."

Sarah tried to lighten things a little "well you should have known it was a dream as soon as you saw me upset in bed" she smiled through her slight tears. "The only time you've ever left me unhappy in the bedroom was Barstow. Never since."

But Chuck wasn't amused. "That's what I'm saying Sarah. I _did_ know it was a dream. I knew you'd never do that. But when I didn't wake up, things seemed so scary and so real. I couldn't get back to the Real World, where I'd find the real you … all I had was Bizarro World and Bizarro Sarah."

Sarah didn't know the reference by heart, but didn't really need to. Her blood however began to run cold as a deduction dawned on her. "Chuck … I know I haven't been the perfect girlfriend…"

Chuck immediately opened his mouth to protest. "Sarah nobody's perfect. I'm a million miles away from the perfect boyfriend."

Sarah held up a hand for silence. "I know I've screwed up some things. I didn't jump at the idea of moving in with you right away … I took a long while to unpack … I practically ran away screaming at the sight of you holding Morgan's ring… I know that in some ways… I might have made you feel insecure … but… God help me, Chuck I know I might sound like the class bimbo here, but I honestly thought that at the rate we hit the sheets, you wouldn't really have any doubt that I want you and that I'm not going anywhere. I mean I do know you well enough to know that you love it when I jump your bones."

Chuck grinned softly. "I still blush when we walk by the supply closet."

"I know you do" Sarah allowed her own grin to part her lips, but her face soon became serious again. "Chuck… I know that it's not right to blame you for what you dream about … but I really want to know your opinion on this… why is there even a small part of you that's afraid of me not wanting you without the Intersect? I can't tell you how low I felt when Morgan pointed out that because I suck at telling you things like that you might have forgotten it. I mean … Chuck I'm in love with _you_. Not the Intersect. I don't know how many times I have to say it, but clearly I haven't said it enough. Why can't you believe it? What else do I need to do to prove that you're the love of my life?"

Chuck's far away gaze revealed that he was giving the matter some thought. Sarah was encouraged by that, as he was no longer simply feebly protesting that she was imagining his insecurities. "Sarah when we first got together…"

"When we first got together, Chuck" Sarah couldn't help interrupting. "I told you that I fell for you within a day and a half of meeting you. Before I even knew that the files I was after were even called called 'The Intersect'. I was scared when it looked like the Intersect was hurting your mental health. I was totally okay with you quitting the CIA to keep your word to Ellie. And I know we promised never to mention Prague again, but I wanted to run away with you and let you forget that you even had the Intersect. _I. Love. Normal. Chuck. Bartowski!_ Why do you all of a sudden not believe that?"

"Sarah. I believe you. When you told me that you fell in love with a normal guy … I believed you 100%."

Sarah was now sitting with his knees up to her chest, under the aluminum colored blanket, and her arms draped over them. She turned slightly, bringing the blanket with her, to confront Chuck.

She stiffened at his use of the past tense. Her face fell in concern, and she asked "and now?"

"Sarah…" he began hesitantly.

"What?" She demanded.

"Sarah … I think we both know that you like me better with the Intersect than without it. At least a little." Chuck said, slightly glumly.

Her eyes widened in shock. "Chuck! No! No no no! I can't believe you just said that!" Chuck opened his mouth again but again, Sarah stopped him by holding up both of her hands. "Chuck, I have watched that thing in your head come close to getting you killed more times than I can count! When we were going after Shaw and it was overloading your brain, I wanted nothing more than for a way to deactivate it! Your mother suppressing the Intersect would have been a dream come true than. Chuck… I can't believe that you actually think like this!"

"Sarah, the Intersect is what makes it possible for me to come along on missions, and not be dead weight when I do. You saw how helpless I was over Thanksgiving without it."

Sarah cut him off with a slashing motion with her hand. "Chuck, I like having you with me in the field. Yes, I missed you being there when it was just me and Casey going after Marko and Volkoff. But I did like knowing that you were safe. I didn't miss constantly worrying about you."

Chuck looked unconvinced. "Yeah, and the times you _aren't_ worried about me, we're having some of the best sex ever right after missions."

Sarah's mouth dropped, but now it was her turn to be somewhat speechless. With the wind much taken out of her sails, she asked "what do you mean?" … although she could fully guess what he meant.

"Oh, come on Sarah. I first noticed it when the Turners helped us take down Otto, although I wasn't sure what I was dealing with at the time. You agreed to move in, I went back home with you to move you out of Masion 23, and you practically jumped my bones as soon as the door was shut."

"That had nothing to do with the mission, Chuck – I just thought we should say good-bye to that hotel room properly. I wanted to have you at least once in there. It's not like I hadn't caught you staring at me a more than a few times in that room." Sarah defended.

"Okay, fair enough.. and that's kind of what I thought at the time. But then the Intersect started bugging me, and with all the headaches I was having we kind of hit a dry spell. I knew you were a little disappointed, but you let me sleep in for a few weeks, bless your heart. Then you and Casey were gone for a few months chasing down Marko, and after Morgan and I came and got you, that's when I noticed it again. After we got back you were … incredible. Wild. You were just on the good side of 'insatiable'. At first I thought it was just because we hadn't seen each other for six months … so I kind of chalked it up as an anomaly. It wasn't until Milan that I started adding it together."

Sarah heaved a long sigh, and held her head in her hand. "Milan?" she asked in an unsuccessful attempt at ignorance.

Chuck scoffed and gave her an incredulous look. "Yes Milan!"

"I… thought you might like being jumped. That's all. Besides, you had just had a naked supermodel holding you at gunpoint, and I needed to re-mark my territory." Sarah, in spite of herself grinned.

"Uh, yeah … I'd say so. It took me all of a minute after we opened the hotel room door for me to open up the safe, and put the SmartBullet magazine in there. By the time I shut the door you were only wearing a necklace and your bracelet, and grinding into me."

"Well, you were halfway down on the floor already so I figured …" Sarah was still grinning a little.

"Yes! Exactly!" Chuck agreed. "No foreplay. It wasn't even making love. It was just us going at it as a way to unwind after a mission. Not long after, we got stuck babysitting Hugo Panzer and Heather Chandler. She asked 'Isn't spy sex great?' … and to be honest, Sarah… I really couldn't say 'no'!" And then there was the supply closet sex in between our two trips to Milan, the way we took advantage of the fact that Morgan was out of the house after Hugo and Heather went back to jail. We had post-Costa Gravas sex, Post-Iran sex ... And Sarah, that's on top of how we usually are together when we just have a Saturday we can sleep in!"

Sarah's stare was ever so slightly accusatory. "So you're saying that I have …"

Chuck held up his hands in innocence. "All I'm saying is that you like having your boyfriend there and available for sex when you're on a mission. It's not a bad thing. _I_ freaking love it! I think Milan might have been our hottest sex ever! I'm not saying it's weird or anything like that. I'm just saying that you like a roll in the hay after a victory … and well …Sarah I like being there for that."

Sarah's stare now practically bore through him. "So you think that if for some reason- any reason- you can't go with me and satisfy my post-mission sex fetish … I'll what? Leave you? Find another man to be my tackling dummy?"

Chuck tilted his head seriously "No, Sarah c'mon. Give me a little credit. I'm not _that_ insecure. I just think you'd miss it. That's all."

Sarah sighed. "Chuck, the whole post mission sex thing doesn't just happen. It happens when I finish a mission _with you_. It's not like when I'm on a mission without you, I get all hot and bothered and then wish you were there to take care of me. I hit the spa. I hit the hot tub. I hit the gym. I can do a mission without thinking of sex. It's just when I do a mission with you … I think about sex after."

Chuck shook his head. "Sarah this isn't about me being paranoid about what you're doing when I'm not around. I'm not. It's about me really wanting to satisfy you with something that I've discovered you like, and that I know you like, you shouldn't have to deny that you like, and me wanting to give it to you … so to speak. Hero and heroine sex. We're a great team together when we're on missions, and we're great when we celebrate after. I didn't really want to lose that, and go back to being on the sidelines, patiently waiting for you to come home, and worrying about you every bit as much as you worry about me." Thinking of another example, he continued. "It's like if I was a really good painter, and I found out that you loved it anytime I made you a painting … and then one day I was struck blind. Of course I'd try to do whatever I could to get my eyesight back – even if my painting were only one of the things you loved about me."

"Oh, so you're not worried about me leaving you and finding someone else, you're just worried about never seeing the post-mission sex again. You poor thing. All you'd be left with is me coming home and hours upon hours of sweet, gentle lovemaking marathons. I guess that would really suck" Sarah challenged.

"Now when you say it like that it just sounds bad. Sarah you're amazing. You'd be amazing even if I wasn't crazy in love with you. I spent a lot of time in Paris and after Paris wondering if I'd been dreaming the entire time and that I was going to wake up alone, and fourteen years old. When we were on the train from Paris, I spent a lot of time thinking that you couldn't possibly be more exciting or more sexy or treat me better then you were … and **then** we went on missions together, and it got even better!"

Sarah furrowed her brow in confusion, and began working a few things in her head. She felt as if she were on the verge of a breakthrough, but needed a little more time to figure a few details here and there. "Better, huh?" she prompted unconvinced.

"Well …"Chuck said cautiously, slightly worried that he might have said something insulting. Satisfied that he still good, he continued. "Yeah … In a way, at least. Sarah, when we're done a mission, you make me feel like nobody ever has before. The hero &amp; heroine sex makes me feel like the homecoming king and a rock star all rolled into one. I mean … the way you look at me right before you pounce on me it's like … I mean most of the time when we're together it feels like I'm someone that you _want_ to have in your life. But after a mission … it's like for a few minutes, I'm not someone you just _want_ … I'm someone you _need_. I've never …"

"… felt like that before." Sarah finished, comprehendingly … yet still coolly. Some uncomfortable things needed to be said now, she decided. "Chuck," she began "You're ridiculous. On so many levels."

Chuck leaned back against a rack of sheathed katana, gathering up his half of the emergency blanket. Sarah, instead of drawing near him to stay under the blanket, shamelessly got up and stood up. Chuck gazed up at her with tempered adoration. Sarah Walker had a body that an ancient Athenian sculptor would have begged to use as a model, and the sight was amazing indeed. It was also slightly intimidating now when she towered over him, and was still clearly annoyed with him.

"Stay there. Hold that thought" she commanded. She padded across the dojo floor to the locker room, and returned less than a half minute later holding her gym bag. Setting it down, and unzipping it, she pulled out a fresh t-shirt and pulled if over her shoulders. "Little chilly in here" she justified. "anyway, on to why you're ridiculous. First of all, when you say 'hottest', please tell me you don't mean 'best'. Because Milan was pretty hot, but it wasn't our best sex by a long shot."

"Well, not… not really our best. It was definitely hot though. I mean I don't think I'd like to have sex like that all the time, …"

Sarah's look brightened and she interrupted "And why not?" she demanded.

"Well," Chuck admitted "It's a little bit…"

"Dehumanizing? Animalistic? Sleazy? Selfish? Objectifying?" Sarah pressed.

"Well yeah… sorry." Chuck confessed.

"No apologies" Sarah insisted. "It's okay. It _is_ all that. And every now and then, that's okay. You don't have apologize for what I bring out of you during adrenaline-sex. You bring something like that out of me, too. Yeah, for a few minutes I want to see you treat me like your own personal blow up doll… because for those same few minutes have every intention of treating you like a dildo with a heartbeat. One that talks an awful lot afterwards."

Chuck laughed and blushed as he did.

"Chuck" Sarah continued. "You said that no woman's ever treated you like that before. Obviously you like it in small doses when I _do_ treat you like that. That's nice. That's good to know. I guess a part of me likes that I can encourage you into some mindless fucking in addition to the long -weekend style lovemaking that you're so good at. It's fun being your whore for a few minutes every now and then."

Chuck blinked in horror at her use of that word. On instinct, he opened up his mouth to protest, but Sarah smiled sweetly and brought her fingers up to his lips to silence him "Shhhhhh. I know that you know full well what I mean when I say that. So don't fight me on it. But back to you being ridiculous." Sarah smiled, confident that she now had control of the conversation. "First of all, the mindless, insane adrenaline sex… Chuck I'm thrilled that you like it, and that it maybe pushes a few boundaries for you … but it doesn't open any new territory for me, Chuck. Before I met you … before Paris … that was pretty much my standard way of having sex. Hardly any "I love you" s, little to no foreplay, no cuddling after, sometimes not even sleeping in the same beds afterwards. Never even thinking of a future together. None of that soul mate stuff. Just me and someone else using each other to scratch an itch we happened to have at the same time. You're ridiculous if you think that the hot, crazed post mission sex is our best sex ever. It used to be the only way I knew how to have sex … now it's big high point for me is that I someone I love so much available to me for a post-action quickie."

Sarah couldn't completely read Chuck's expression, but she sensed that he wanted elaboration. "Chuck, the way you made love to me in Paris, and what you do to me at home blows pretty much anything else away that I've ever had in my life. You honestly have no idea what it's like for me to have you take my clothes off and know for sure that you're going to work me over until I come at least once or twice. I love waking up next to you and going at it again before breakfast. And that eye contact thing that you taught me when we do the straddling thing – _oh, my God_! All that means so much more to me than any post mission relaxation sex."

Chuck's mouth was slightly agape. "Wow. I didn't think about that."

"The second reason why you're ridiculous is this, Chuck. You seem to think that I get turned on by you after a mission because of the _danger_. That I have some sort of combat fetish, like I throw a few punches, watch you throw a few punches, and then I need a good screwing. That's not true. That's not true at all, Chuck. Fighting isn't my aphrodisiac. _Pride_ is. I love watching you do things. Seeing you excel. Seeing you use your gifts in ways that surprise even you…Oh, Chuck. That's what gets me hot and bothered. Don't you know that?" Sarah now turned to Chuck and looked deliberately at him. "Did you seriously imagine that the gunfire, the fighting and stabbings and kung fu is what turns me into your own personal sex kitten? It's watching _you_ Chuck. Whether you're fighting or not. Whether you're on a mission or not. I do _not_ need you on missions to feel that way. I don't even need you as a spy to feel like that. In fact I'm looking forward to learning about what real world, real person activities I can watch you do that will make me feel the same way. Maybe I'll get hot and wet watching you mow the lawn if we buy a house… especially if I can talk you into doing it without your shirt. Maybe if you perfect that pepperoni chicken recipe. Or we'll run 5Ks together. I can't wait to see you hold Ellie's baby when she's born. Chuck do you seriously think I'm going to be able to watch you play with a baby without going into heat?" Sarah smiled at him lewdly. "Don't you know anything about what a sexy man with a baby does to a woman? If you think I ever aggressively jumped your bones before, have you given any thought about what I'm going to do to you then?"

Chuck simply sat and blushed. "I _really_ didn't think about that."

For the first time, Sarah's gave a soft smile. "Chuck, could you please think about it the next time before you make a decision that could get you killed? Nothing has to change between you and me if you decided to be home and safe, or if you decide to keep on being a spy or not, or if you have the Intersect or not. I love you. I'm _in_ love with you. We'll have sex a _lot_. And most of the time it'll be that sweet, gentle lovemaking that lasts half the night. I love that. I've never had it before you, and I want a lot of it. But yes, even having said that, every now and then I'll still want you to bang me like a screen door in a hurricane."

Chuck laughed. "I'll see what I can do."

"Oh, I _know_ what you can do." Sarah smiled..,. then sucked in her breath as her still-naked Chuck caressed her face.

"I love you Sarah Walker" Chuck whispered.

Sarah shut her eyes and froze with her lips slightly open, wordlessly begging for one of Chuck's passionate kisses. When it came, she pulled herself close to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Briefly breaking the kiss, she brought her lips to Chuck's ear and whispered "I love you too Chuck. So much. And forever."

The kiss promised to last for awhile, if neither of them did anything to stop it; Sarah did just that as a thought came to her. "Chuck?" she breathily whispered into his ear.

"How does this work?" She asked, pulling back, studying his face, and caressing his cheek with her fingers. "I mean … are we engaged? Or are we like pre-engaged? Or is it something like that? What do you call it when we both know we want to marry each other?"

Chuck's face registered his concern. "Oh, Sarah. I don't know. But I don't want to go around saying we're engaged until I officially ask and you say yes."

"But … you can do that now, can't you? I'm going to say 'yes'."

Chuck froze, and a look of horror crossed his face. "Uh, no. Sarah, that's not going to work."

"But why?"

"Sarah" Chuck stammered. "I have to do it right. A) I need a ring, B) I need the right place to do it, and C) the timing needs to be better. A lot better. I don't want to do it when I'm naked and you're half naked and we've just had sex. "

"Okay" Sarah said, and immediately peeled off her t-shirt balling it up and putting it behind her. Now, completely naked, she queried "Better?"

Chuck gasped "Sarah no! That's worse! I don't want to do it like this."

"Why not?" she asked, dumbfounded.

"Because I want it to be a good story!" Chuck blurted out. "One we can actually tell people! One we can tell our kids!" Off of Sarah's confused look he continued. "Twenty five years from now if our son finds the girl of his dreams and he asks me how I proposed to his mother, I don't want to have say 'Well, son, we were fighting over something top secret, then fighting turned into a quickie against the wall of the dojo, then afterwards we talked about how we like to have sex, and then your mom asked me to propose.' And long before that happens, Ellie and Awesome are going to want to hear the story. It's gotta be something good."

Sarah huffed. "I thought tonight was kind of romantic. Maybe more couples should get engaged right after sex. Maybe there'd be fewer divorces if there were."

"Actually I'm convinced that there'd be more." Chuck said stubbornly.

"Wait a minute! Chuck, answer me this…. What do you think the two of us will be doing anyway an hour after you propose and I say 'yes'? Hmm? Is that going to part of the story? Because if you think that I … _we're_ taking a vow of celibacy for later that night just out of consideration for our unborn son or daughter, you're out of your mind." Sarah insisted.

"No. Because nobody cares what a happy couple does after the proposal. They only want to hear about the lead up and before. The story always and with 'and then she said yes.'"

"Okayyy" Sarah said, with a slightly exaggerated groan. "I guess I can count on you to do something romantic.

"You know it. Like I said, I've got magic coming your way." Chuck leaned in to kiss his bride-to-be.

Sarah opened her lips in reception, and softly kissed him back, gently sweeping his lip with her tongue. Sarah pulled back from her naked husband-to-be and beamed one of her gorgeous, trademarked smiles at him, one where her eyes shone and sparkled. "I'm going to be your wife, Chuck. And you're going to be my husband."

"That", Chuck said pushing forward "is my driving plan".

Sarah leaned back into him for another kiss. "Let's get dressed. Let's go home" But rather than let him go to slide out from under the emergency blanket to seek out his clothes, she purred into his ear. "I want to get you back into bed."

"mmmm..sex again, Mrs Bartowski-To-Be? There's that insatiable side I've been noticing." Chuck teased.

"No, Mr. Walker-To-Be" Sarah responded, gathering up her clothes. "We already had sex." Stroking Chuck's handsome face once more, Sarah said "I want to go home and make love."

**The End**


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